Gah. Vad har jag gjort?! måndag, Okt 2 2006 

 från X3M

Just kill me right now. Jag planera inte alls att gårdagen skulle bli som den blev. Jag hade verkligen inte planerat att jag skulle sitta på wc:n mitt i natten och skaka pågrund av en nolot liten mängd onämnbar flytande vätska. Spy upp min magsäck. Må illa och ha världens värsta huvudvärk och svårt att somna.

Hui.

Skämde ut mig i fel sällskap. Sjöng i en gunga för fullt. Pissade bakom ett hörn. Satt i en vind.

GAH.

Vad har jag gjort???!!!

Första gången jag var med i sanning och konsekvens. Herregud vad har jag nu gått och sagt åt människor. :/ Jag tycker synd om de som blev ringda under kvällen (som tur gjorde jag inte det).

Just så.

Dagens bild:sötnöt Shiiiinya.

These precious words lördag, Jul 29 2006 

 från X3M

Title: These precious words
Author: Izme
Rating: I don’t know
Genre: romance, a bit fluff I think.
Pairing: Shin/someone
Summary: The hard words.
Beta: Nelle (loveyouloveyou)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Shinya, sadly ;)
A/N: kort men skit i det.

These precious words

I never really understood your words, even though they were the most beautiful words I had ever heard. For me it wasn’t words, it was something more, more beautiful. More important. A promise after another. More words. I believed every whisper every sound that your mouth gave me. I believed them because I needed something to hold on in this world when everything else was crumbling apart. You gave me a shelter for the night. A hiding place, where I could be myself. Not need to act anything different. There in your home, in your arms I could relax, let down my guard and just breath for awhile even though that was hard with you there. You made me breathless everytime you entered the room. You made the room glow in a special way, a light that was meant only for my eyes to see.
From the day you kissed me lightly on the lips I knew that I was meant for you, and you were the one for me. Never ever have I thought differently. Your mouth made my insides jump and make cartwheels at the same time. Your soft lips tasted like heaven when they made contact with mine. The sweet taste that I miss all of the time when you’re not on my side.
I couldn’t believe that you really were there and were not going anywhere. I was not just one of the others. I was something special in your eyes too. Everytime you didn’t call and told me were you were I got scared. Was this the end?
But it never was. You always came back to me.
Your eyes were like stars. Shining like stars do in the night. If one could drown in someones eyes I would have drowned in yours.
The smile you gave me made me melt on the spot. I felt like I couldn’t move, and you always had to take the steps towards me. At that time you always gave me a light kiss right on the lips and that just made me, the wet pile on the floor disappear, vanish into the air.
The sweet words you whispered in my ear when I was about to fall asleep with your arms around me and you breathing in my neck. I could feel your warm body against mine, making me warm and fussy inside. All I did was feel, no words needed and they would probably just have ruined the moment.
Sometimes I did make a little sound just to hear you ask.
”What is it Shin?” Always the same words and tone. A little concerned but just a little. I could feel you move up a bit from the matress probably leaning on your elbow. Your eyes were locked on me and could almost feel them in my neck. I smiled a bit but didn’t open my eyes. I let you look at me with a question written all over your face. Every time it was the same thing, you never stopped asking.
”I just wanted to hear you voice.”I heard you laugh a bit and relax again. You kissed my neck for a few minutes and made me all warm inside once again. That was your talent. You always knew what buttons, and where they were, to push. Your hands and fingers traced my body with care, gently like you were scared of scareing me away. I wanted to tell you that you could not do that, but I never found the right words to use. And the fear of using the wrong words made me silent. I chose to keep them to myself.
You kept on kissing me until you reached my lips, and of course did not stop there, but you took a small pause when you just looked into my eyes, with a small smile on your lips. I made eyecontact with you for the first time in many minutes. You touched my chin with your soft fingers and made me shiver.
”Are you cold?” Your voice was just a whisper not to break the moment. The perfect moment.
I shook my head a bit. The truth was that I was burning up more then freezing. Once again I had a hard time to breathe, to get air into my lugns.
Then you kissed me and I thought I was going to faint for loss of oxygen. I felt like I was about to die any second but still I felt more alive then ever.
Your lips left mine when we both needed air too much to continue. A smile formed on your beautiful face. I wanted to remember that moment forever, never forget.
I smiled lightly and touched your face and you took my hand and kissed it gently.
”I love you, Shin.”
My heart stopped beating and I couldn’t breathe. I knew what you wanted me to say and you also knew that I had a hard time saying it. Never had I told another person that I loved him or her. My family of course but besides them, never. I could feel tears in my eyes and I looked away from your eyes so that you wouldn’t see them.
I heard you sigh and I knew that you were sad. Disappointed. Without a word you left the room.
Now I could feel tears running down my cheeks. I did love you more then anything. Didn’t you know that?
Why couldn’t I say the words?
How hard can it be to say three words?
I love you.

pocky tisdag, Jul 25 2006 

 från emmelemzi.blogg.se

Orginalet hittas här.

Jag är så kär i dendär bilden. Shinya är så otroligt vacker.

Nu är jag då tillbaka från sverige och kan koncentrera mig på livet här igen. Blogga och klaga och kanske även vara lycklig en stund. Man skall ju inte bara klaga på livet utan även njuta av de små bra stunderna som gömmer sig ibland.

Jag fick smaka på japanskt godis igår när jag var i stan med Nera och Pigru. Det var jätte gott!

Det var härligt att öppna min telefon igår och få ett sms av Nera där hon berättade att hon saknar mig. Jag skrev att jag saknar henne och en sekund där efter så ringer hon och frågar om jag vill komma till stan. Jag skyndade att ge mig iväg.

Köpte en t-skjorta och ett par strumpor. Härligt.

Jag lever.

Simple & Clean lördag, Jul 8 2006 

 från emmelemzi.blogg.se

orginalet hittas här.

Jag har varit duktig. Jag har läst, jag har köpt grejer. Jag har varit en bra person och svarat i telefonen väldigt sent på kvällen igår (första gången sen jag stängde av den). Det var nog bara lillebror som sa att han skulle komma hit idag och att jag skulle vänta på honom. Jag var trött då och mumlade någonting åt honom. Sa att jag köpt Queens cd och han blev väl glad. Han gillar Bohemian rhapsody (nej, jag orkar inte gå efter cd:n och kolla hur det skrivs). Lyssnade ganska många gånger igenom den igår. Bevisade åt La att jag ännu lyssnar på så kallad vanlig musik ännu. Jag talade med henne på msn igår. Det var längesen jag gjort det så det kändes bra.

Fick en massa nya låtar av Nera på kvällen. Härligt. (lyssnar på dem just nu.)

M har slutar ringa nu. Hon gav upp tillslut. Orkade inte fortsätta.

Igen känns det som det skulle ha varit en evighet sen jag skrev någonting hit, men ändå så har det inte varit så hemskt längesen.

Jag har bara inte orkat tänka på bloggen. Har haft så mycket annat i huvudet. Har börjat fundera på att lösenordsskydda bloggen eftersom jag börjar blir rädd att Lillebror skall läsa detta. Det finns inlägg som bara är såna som han inte får läsa.

Saknar VPFPH.